What Happens If My Child Doesn’t Want to Visit the Other Parent?
Separation creates tension within the whole family, including the children. Some days they adjust well, other days they push back. If your child starts refusing to visit the other parent, you may feel stuck in the middle.
It feels wrong to go against your child’s wishes, but it means you’ll have to violate court orders. Many parents in Ontario face this exact dilemma. Family law balances court-ordered parenting time with your child’s best interests. That means if your child resists visits, you are able to change the current parenting arrangement.
Let’s break this down with real insight into how Ontario law views parenting time issues.
Law on Parenting Time in Ontario
In Ontario, the Children’s Law Reform Act and the Divorce Act both protect a child’s right to have a relationship with both parents. When parenting time is court-ordered, you must follow it unless the order changes. If your child refuses to go, that doesn’t automatically give you permission to skip the visit.
The courts don’t expect children to decide whether visits happen. They expect parents to encourage and facilitate parenting time, even when it becomes difficult. Failure to comply without court-approved changes can lead to legal consequences.
Understanding reasons why your child refuses to visit…
Courts often distinguish between typical emotional resistance and serious causes like abuse or neglect. If this behaviour isn’t normal for your child, be more attentive to how their personality changes. Common reasons include:
- Loyalty conflicts or guilt
- Anxiety about transitions
- Conflict or tension with the other parent
- Feeling unsafe or unheard in the other home
- Exposure to arguments, yelling, or emotional harm
If you feel your child’s experiencing any of these issues and not willing to talk to you about it, a therapist might help you.
What should I do when my child refuses again?
No parent wants to force their child into something that causes emotional distress. But when parenting time is legally ordered, your role becomes more complicated
Here’s what you can do when your child refuses to visit the other parent:
Stay calm and listen
Ask questions without leading them. Try to get a clear idea of what they’re feeling and why.
Encourage the visit
Ensure them that they weren’t the reason behind the split and that these visits are important. Stay neutral in your tone and avoid saying anything that may fuel resistance.
Document everything
Keep a detailed log of what happened, including dates, times, what your child said, and how you responded. If you feel the need to change parenting arrangements, this log will be highly useful.
Speak with the other parent
Let the other parent know what your child said and how you tried to manage the situation. Do not accuse or blame. Instead, express your willingness to find a solution together.
At what age can a child refuse to visit the other parent?
Ontario law does not name a specific age when a child can make that choice. However, the court will begin to give more weight to a child’s wishes as they grow older, especially at or after 12 years of age. No child has final say until they are legally an adult.
If refusals become a pattern, we’re here to help you protect your child and take the right steps without any delay. Please reach out for a consultation.
